I have found myself in a place of questioning God. I have been obsessed with pondering why He has chosen me, why He has saved me, and why He would want to use…. me. 

It really has made no sense. Isn’t it fascinating how God does things that make no sense? 

To us, they make no sense. To Him, it’s a perfect plan. 

I have carried guilt, some may call survivor’s guilt, for the amazing life I live. Maybe that sounds absurd to someone reading this, but it is my truth. I have been confused as to why I have received so much “favor” in my life. At times, it has felt heavy and somewhat of a burden. 

A few weeks ago, though, something began to shift in me. I could feel it, deep in my soul, beginning to bubble up to the surface, allowing me to begin to process why on earth God would choose me. I was only a shy, timid little 8-year-old girl when He met me and saved my life. 

From that moment, He did something inside of me – planting a seed of faith that would grow, blossom, and become a woman 45 years later writing this devotional. I look back over my life and can see time after time where God spoke, shaped, and moved me. 

This morning, reading Marshawn Evans Daniels’ book 100 Days of Believing Bigger, my eyes were opened a bit more. Her writing helped me to see things from a different perspective. 

I realized that the shame of my traumatic childhood, my questioning and second-guessing God’s choice to use me, has done nothing but hold me back. I had to repent and ask God to forgive me for my lack of faith and trust in Him. 

I love the line Marshawn wrote, “An unashamed woman is an unstoppable woman.” That is such a profound statement. 

Have you allowed shame to interfere with God’s plan for you? Has doubt, second-guessing, and questioning God’s choices for your life prevented you from boldly taking the first or the next step? Maybe, friend, it is time to drop the shame and guilt and believe in His choices. 

I am beginning, just beginning, to accept and believe that the God of the universe chose me. He chose me. He is choosing you, too, for something special. He hand-picked you for something no other person can do because your story is your story. No one else has it. Let Him use it.